Transfer day!!

So... transfer day was last Wednesday, April 15th. My IPs took me to St. Louis to have the transfer. I teased my husband before hand that if I got pregnant, I'd be able to tell people he wasn't even present for the conception. He said that was good, he was going to tell everyone it wasn't his, that he suspected it was P's (our IF). Bwahaha!

We had a good drive down, stopping about an hour away to buy me a humongous Coke Icee with which to fill my bladder. Having a full bladder is the worst part of the whole thing. So uncomfortable once they start messing around down there!

I discussed with the nurse the fact that I'm having deep muscle cramps, almost like Charley Horses, only in my arms as well as my legs and I think it's a reaction to the progesterone since it didn't start til the shots did. I had bad Charley Horses with all of my own pregnancies as well. They okay'd taking a magnesium and potassium supplement to try to combat it. But so far, I'm trying to do it with foods, just to be more natural about it.

My IM went in with me to the transfer room. They'd changed their protocol and this time we had to wear booties, gowns, and hair covers. So attractive! I joked about my kids teasing me about my last pregnancy being two decades ago. Ungrateful wretches. Then our Dr came in and I told her I'd read a study that suggested laughter really aided in implantation and that the people who'd done the study had gone so far as to bring clowns into the transfer room, which, given my dislike of clowns, would be nowhere near funny! But I suggested maybe a stand up comedian in the corner. She could do pregnancy or period humor. This conversation followed:

DR: I don't think pregnancy humor would be good, because what if the transfer didn't take?

Me: Okay, then just female body humor. There's plenty of that. Also, her husband asked if you could use a little more glue this time.

DR: Sure. We use Gorilla Glue, you know, they're the closest to human anatomy.

Me: See? Laughing!

IM: A few of my friends who knew the transfer was today wished me sticky thoughts.

Me: Yes, the surrogate group wishes sticky thoughts and baby dust.

DR: Baby dust? That's kind of morbid.

Me: Don't worry, it's not made from real babies. Geez...

The nurses were cracking up. My IF said it sounded like a high school girl's locker room in there. Fingers crossed the whole "laughing helps implantation" is true. Because we sure did.

After transfer I laid flat for 20 minutes, then got to pee, dress, and head home. They recommend 6 hours of bed rest, no lifting over 10 lbs, no sex, so Ibuprofen, no heating pads, and no hot tubs or baths. We went to Party Central and bought birthday decorations for their son's party, then to Sonic, then the three hour drive home. The Valium didn't even make me sleepy this time. I went to bed as soon as I got home, but didn't fall asleep til midnight. The progesterone is also giving me some wicked insomnia.

So now we're in the two week wait. Which is killer. Actually, it's only an 8 day wait, because our clinic does 8 day past Beta tests. So my test is actually Thursday morning. I've got some ideas about how it's going to go, but you're going to have to wait until tomorrow to read that blog...




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Moving forward quickly...

It's quite possible I'm the worst blogger ever, in the history of blogging. I can't believe it's been so long since my last post!! So here goes the catching up... stay with me here...

I went in for my fluid ultrasound and was shocked to find out I had polyps. I have never had polyps before, like ever. The RE said they were most likely due to the meds from last cycle and made an appointment for the following week, March 9th for me to come back and have them removed. I was not exactly the happiest of campers. I loathe surgery. I hate anesthesia, hate being out of control, just panic about it. But my IM offered to drive me down the day of the surgery and so off we went. Everything went well, and I actually loved the anesthesiologist and his nurse, was only out for ten minutes, and came around really quickly. Mainly because I fight to shake it off like you wouldn't believe. Did I mention I have control issues?

Anyway, the surgery was not painful. I had some light cramping and was exhausted the next day. Unfortunately, I haven't felt well since. (TMI alert) Lots of tummy issues. I can't imagine it's from the surgery, probably just coincidence, but I've had cramps, and lots of loose BMs, lots of gas. Pretty annoying stuff. I suppose it could be side effects of either the Lupron I started on the 14th of this month, or the steroids I started the same day. But I didn't notice any of that the first cycle.

I stopped BCPs on Wednesday, and have my baseline ultrasound and estrogen check on Monday. Fingers crossed we're good to go and I can start my Estrace that day. Then back in on April 3rd for a lining check to be sure we're good for transfer the week of the twelfth.

I'm so excited that we're getting close, but sort of bummed that I'm not feeling as well as I was the first go around. I know a lot of it is stress. My oldest son, the one with autism, was very ill the last two weeks and the stress of him being ill, and the guilt of not being able to be with him round the clock took it's toll. Then my 31 week pregnant daughter and my grandsons (3 & 17 months) moved in while her husband is doing some training with the AF. They'll be here until after she delivers. And while I am super thrilled to have them here (I LOVE those babies), it's a bit of an adjustment.

And I'm not sleeping much at all. It started when I severely sprained my ankle three weeks ago (I'm on week three of six in a plastic splint) and I haven't had a decent night's sleep since. I'm sure the meds are not helping. I'm really holding out for this estrogen to work miracles the way it did last cycle. Fingers crossed.

I want to be relaxed, and feeling healthy come transfer day. So good that those two fresh embies are going to want to hang around for about 9 months...


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Out with the old...

And by that, I mean lining. Uterine lining. I stopped all the meds last Wednesday so my body would shed this great thick lining and we could start birth control pills and get ready for the new cycle. I was worried because it took so long to start and now I'm wishing it never had. I'm not used to the cramping and bleeding. My regular birth control pills have very little estrogen so almost no lining gets built up and I have next to nothing to shed which equals one day of spotting, not several days of scenes from The Walking Dead. Sorry if that's TMI, but this is a blog about pregnancy, which is a bodily function. Skip the gruesome parts if you must, I'm sure there will be many. Anyway, things are happening the way they are supposed to so I'll start bcps again and hopefully, fingers crossed we'll transfer in February or March. And fingers crossed that this time it sticks. My IM is still waiting to talk to the doctor to decide which type of eggs we'll use this time. That will be a big factor in when we transfer again. Honestly, I'm missing the shots. Okay, not the progesterone shots which hurt and make my hips itch and make me think of nothing but sleeping and eating. But the estrogen shots actually seemed to boost my energy and make me easier to get along with. Apparently I need some of that. :)

But stopping the shots caused a massive migraine. It showed up on Friday morning and stayed (way past it's welcome) til Monday morning. It was the awful nausea, dizziness, sensitivity to light and sound. Every loud sound felt like an ice pick to my brain and all I could do was lay in my darkened living room. I couldn't read, couldn't sleep, and the TV killed me. None of the meds I have in my house came close to touching it. Turns out migraines are common when stopping hormones. Thanks for the head's up, nurse lady! It was awful, but made way worse by the fact that CJ had an early morning doctor appointment Friday that I drove too. Then he was irritated because we couldn't leave the minute I showed up and had to stay for the appointment. Which meant I got elbowed and hit and he made some really loud noises. But I kept my cool and we managed to get his blood drawn quickly and painlessly for all involved. When we got home Mike took him out on the golf cart and gator for most of the day so I could deal with the migraine. He seemed to have a good time regardless of me not getting to spend much time with him. And Friday night he dragged us downstairs and made Mike build a fire. We just sat and watched it quietly for an hour. That was a win. Then I showed him that we could put the fireplace app on the TV and watch it from upstairs. He fell asleep to it. We took him back Saturday afternoon and I returned to the couch. So much for the weekend.

 It's a new week, a new year. :) And next week I'm going to visit my son in North Carolina and my sister along the way since she's the halfway point between us. I haven't seen him since October and haven't been out to North Carolina since June of last year. I can't wait to see his house though he says it's crappy. Lol. And I'm pretty excited to eat some really good barbecue, collard greens, and fried okra. Also he's taking me to his favorite Korean restaurant which he swears has great sushi!

 If you're a surrogate and reading this, I hope your journey is going well! For everyone I hope the New Year is treating you right.

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Transfer Update

We transferred two five day embryos on Saturday the 20th of December. It was a very good day. I drove to my IP's house that morning and they drove me to the clinic in St. Louis. Waiting in the back were my two nurses and the doctor. As we walked back I said, "Let's knock me up!" They laughed. And then we all laughed about the fact I was being impregnated by a room full of women. They gave me a Valium and a hospital gown. Lol. Then my friend and I went in to the transfer room. The whole thing took about 5 minutes start to finish, and while a little intense, was not painful at all. My friend took pictures the whole time. Don't worry, I was covered.

Then they wheeled me back into recovery and her husband joined us, we made a lot of jokes because I'd heard laughter helps implantation. It's probably just the good mood and positive vibes that help those babies want to stick around, but I'm willing to try anything. After laying flat for 20 minutes they let me get up and pee (thank goodness!) and get dressed and we left. Yep, that was all there was to it.

My friend had a couple of stops to make in St. Louis but I stayed in the car until Target. We don't have a Target near us, so I couldn't resist. And the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) had made it clear she didn't recommend bed rest. So we spent about twenty minutes in Target and then had lunch at Chick Fillet. After that we drove back home and I drove home from there. Mike and I had some dinner and I fell asleep trying to watch a movie. Must have been that Valium.

Do I feel any different? It's so hard to say. The progesterone fools your body into thinking it's pregnant anyway, so I already had symptoms: extreme tiredness, sore boobs, and hunger. Seriously, I feel like all I think about is food and sleep. The only difference is a slight headache which I always got when pregnant. And some mild nausea. I'd think it's too soon for that, but you never know. I'm dying to pee on a stick (home pregnancy test), but don't want to get discouraged by negatives and it's definitely way early for that. Technically today I'm 3 weeks and two days pregnant. My blood hcg test is on Monday the 29th, but that seems soooo far away! If it's positive, I'll have another on the 31st to be sure the numbers are doubling like they should and then a viability u/s in mid January to be sure the baby has a heartbeat and if there's one or two.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us. I will feel so awful if this transfer doesn't work. Even though I know it's nothing I did. In fact I've done everything I can to ensure a pregnancy. But I have no experience with infertility or miscarriages so I'll still feel guilty. Also, since it's one of my best friends I'll be grieving with their family too. Oh, we'll try again, but it would just be better to have success this time!

Everyone have an awesome Christmas or whatever Holiday you celebrate. My folks and sister's family will be here from out of town in a few hours. CJ (my oldest son) will be too. I've got a few things to do before then, but I'm really excited. I'll update you after the holidays and hopefully I'll have good news!


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Quick update!

Remember how worried I was about Hooha hives? No hives! Yay! Apparently I am not allergic to that antibiotic. Huge sigh of relief.

Also, I started my Progesterone in Sesame Oil shots Sunday night. So far, no problems. I draw the shot up, but Mike gives it to me and so far it doesn't hurt. I don't seem to feel it anymore than I do the Estradiol shot. I've put heat on my hip afterwards both nights and it's never sore, no bruising. I'm happy. Could be because I have a bigger butt than most. Whatever. Works for me. The only side effect I see is the Progesterone makes me sleepy. I've slept great both nights and even slept in like an hour and a half today. Thank goodness I don't have to take them in the morning!

We find out today how many embryos thawed well and fertilized. Very excited. Fingers crossed for at least four to six good guys, just in case the first transfer doesn't work.

My fertility bracelet hasn't arrived yet and I'm kind of bummed about that, but there are still a few days left. I'm getting my mani pedi tomorrow and will be getting green polish for good luck. I'm also going to pick up a pineapple and get started eating it. Apparently the Bromelain in the core assists in implantation. I figure it sure can't hurt. The doctor's office also suggests you have sex the night before. I had a conversation with my IM about it, since I think the contract says no sex for a week before and a couple after. She said if the doctor recommends and you want to go ahead. My husband is pretty happy about this development.

So really I'm just trying to get the last of my Christmas stuff finished up and get ready for Baby Saturday!!

Wish me luck! And sticky baby dust!


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Just one week pre transfer!

So we transfer a week from tomorrow and I'm scared, nervous, excited, nauseous, and stunned. All of those things in one big knot in my stomach. I've never felt so pressured to perform in my life. Especially with something I have so little control over, well, okay, no control over. C'mon uterus, don't fail me now!

Anyway, I have some sort of respiratory crud going on. I think I caught it from my Dad, who was here over the weekend and was ill. Normally, I probably would have been fine with my constant hand washing and staying well away from him, but since I'm on the steroids for the transfer my immune system is suppressed and there must have been a chink in the armor. I only had a cough for a few days, but now it's added the runny, stuffy nose, and my head is killing me.

The good news is I got my med calendar for this next week and I start antibiotics on Sunday. Zithromax, which they usually give me for bronchitis or pneumonia anyway. So if it's not just viral (which it should be since my dad got over it with no antibiotics and he had a raging fever), the antibiotics should kick it to the curb.

The bad news is I start the PIO (Progesterone in oil) shots that everyone complains about on Sunday. They say they hurt, leave lumps, and have yucky side effects. I'm so excited (read sarcastically, please.) Though my nurse assures me that if I'm not having any pain with the estrogen shots (I'm not), then I probably won't have much with these, that the pain is usually from incorrect placement. Hmmm, we'll see. I'll keep you posted.

BUT, the thing I'm super, absurdly worried about does not involve needles at all. It's another antibiotic, Clindamyacin, which comes in the form of a vaginal suppository. That's right, I'm going to stick this thing in my hooha three nights in a row before bed. What's the problem, you ask? Surely, by 44 (within spitting distance now of 45) I'm familiar enough with my body that inserting a suppository is no big deal? No, that's not the big deal. Neither is the um, discharge issue I've heard about. The problem is that I tend to have allergies to antibiotics. Big time allergies. And I don't think I've had Clindamyacin before, so I don't know if I'll have a reaction to it. My typical allergic reactions to antibiotics are: hives, stomach cramps, tight chest, breathing problems. And necessitate a trip to the ER for emergency breathing treatments, steroids, and sometimes epinephrine injections. No fun. And I can't imagine the hives originating in the hooha, can you?

And, to make me even more nervous, I start the suppositories the night of the 14th, like two hours before my birthday. Those of you who are friends, or blog readers of mine, will realize that my birthdays are not always the luckiest of days for me. They have included in the past: trips to the ER, car accidents, travel delays, and being mistaken for a fugitive. Can you understand my concern??

So I'm just going to try to breathe deep, relax, and maybe have a few drinks this weekend...

Wish me luck...


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Almost there...

Yesterday I had a lining check ultrasound and more blood work. The doctor said she wanted my lining to be around a 9. When she checked, I was up to 12.5 and triple striped. Go uterus! It's nice and fluffy in there and should be ready to receive the embryos on the 20th. My estrogen level was at 415 and they'd like that a little higher so she increased the dosage for my shots. Other than that my meds schedule stayed the same for this week.

I received my intralipid infusion to help combat the natural killer cells so they don't target the embryos. It was no big deal, just supremely boring. And the gurney had no padding so my butt hurt pretty bad. Lol.

This means we are a total go for the transfer on the 20th and I'm super excited. And nervous. Not about the procedure, just about whether it works or not. I know how devastated my IPs will be if it doesn't, and I know I will be too.

Until the meds change there's not much else to do except continue quietly building lining and estrogen levels. Luckily, I'm still not seeing any side effects from the meds. We'll see if that continues once they add the dreaded progesterone.

In other news, I woke up congested and coughing. I see a nap in my future...


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PS- did I mention how excited I am for all this??

Still Preheating...

Sorry to leave you guys out of the loop for so long, but a week ago last Thursday (the 20th), I had to take my husband to the ER. He was running a 103 fever. Since he had his spleen removed four years ago, fevers are scary when he gets them. They ended up admitting him because his white count was also sky high (23 when 11 is high). We spent 6 nerve wracking days in the hospital, including a cancer scare, before he was released. He had a very bad infection in his colon and was close to going septic. He's been in the hospital a couple of times in the last four years but this was definitely the scariest time. But we've been home since last Tuesday and while he's not 100% (not even 75% really), he's definitely on the mend.

As for me, preheating the oven is percolating right along. I had my ultrasound lining check on Monday the 24th. And lining was a 4, which the doctor seemed happy with. I know they want it thin so they can build it up. However, she did find a cyst on my one ovary. She said if they are less than 20cm they don't really worry about them. Larger than that she likes to just do a quick needle aspiration in the office to get rid of it. My cyst measured 23.5cm but was located in an area she could not safely access. So we just left it alone. Since my estrogen count was low, it's not producing estrogen so shouldn't interfere with anything. I didn't even know it was there, so it's not one of the more painful ones like the one that took over my right ovary before it was removed. For now, she's just going to keep on eye on it.

So I started the estradiol shots last Tuesday. I watched the video on the clinic website and while it didn't seem like rocket science, I decided it might be way too much stress trying to give it to myself. So Mike watched the video, I loaded the syringe, and he did the shot. This allowed me to lay on the bed and completely relax my muscles. I hardly felt a thing. Luckily, he has nice steady hands. I had another shot Friday and once again he did the injection. Very little pain. I was so relieved. Although I'm told it's the pio (progesterone in oil) shots that are painful. I think I start those sometime after this next lining check.

I go back on the 8th of December for a lining check (fingers crossed it's getting fluffy in there), and the intralipid infusion to combat my natural killer cells. Meanwhile, I'm doing the estradiol shots, Lupron shots, taking vitamins, folic acid, and the steroids. I've noticed in the surrogacy group that some people are on baby aspirin as well. I'm wondering how that helps and why our clinic doesn't use it? But then, it seems every clinic does the meds different.

Also, they moved our transfer date from December 17th to the 20th. The egg bank my IPs are buying their donor eggs from has a certain "thawing" protocol they want followed and they send one of their specialists to oversee the process the first time a clinic does it. I gather that when the embryologist saw all this she freaked out a bit and moved the thaw date from the 12th to the 15th, so transfer had to move as well. I don't really mind, it gives me three more days to get things done. Although I was hoping to pee on a stick and be able to send a pic of a positive pregnancy test to my IPs on Christmas morning. Now it will be too early for that. But I should have my first Beta test on New Year's Eve, so hopefully (fingers crossed) we can all start the new year on a joyous note!

I ordered a fertility bracelet to wear from transfer on. I know that seems superstitious to some, but a little luck can't hurt. I never had trouble conceiving, but since this seems more about science, I wanted to bring some nature in somehow. And this bracelet called to me.

I'm feeling fine. No side effects from the meds other than some sappiness. Lol. Apparently estrogen increases my sentimentality. I wrote my sister a note about how she was my best friend. She is, but telling her isn't something I might normally do. Also, so many things make me tear up. But I'd rather have that than hot flashes, headaches, or feeling ragey. Also, I'm hungry a lot. But that's probably from the steroids. Luckily, even though I'm eating, I haven't gained any weight. I lost five since starting the Lupron and it seems to be staying off. Woot woot! Of course some of it could be the fact that I'm drinking so much water. I started drinking it to combat the headaches that seem to come from dehydration, but it seems to be combating the "meds bloat" that a lot of other surrogates complain about. Although, again, progesterone seems to be the main culprit. I'm really not looking forward to adding that shot.

In other news, Mo's pregnancy is still going well. She did have a horrible headache and some nausea earlier in the week and I urged her to get it checked out. She's so horrible about taking care of herself. I don't think she ever went in and got it looked at, but it seems to have passed. She's fifteen weeks along today.

I'm already half done with Christmas shopping which is highly unusual for me. I'm always a last minute shopper. And I'm planning on putting up the tree today. We usually wait until my birthday on the 15th, but I'm feeling really Christmas-y this year. (Estrogen again?) And I want to get everything done before the transfer on the 20th so that I don't have to stress. Just keep the house straight and maybe bake some cookies and wrap presents. My folks and sister's family are arriving on Christmas Eve this year instead of Christmas because my sister wants to help me cook. I'm really looking forward to spending time with all of them. But I want most of the prep work out of the way.

So that's what's going on around here! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and is going into the holiday season in good spirits. To all the other surrogates who transfer this month--good luck!! I'm sending "sticky" thoughts to you all.

Still preheating!

 

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